READY TO LOOSEN THE GRIP OF SOCIAL ANXIETY?
Try Mindfulness Meditation
Outward appearances of anxiety, shyness or social avoidance behaviors can be a reflection of an inner life marked by fear, self doubt and criticism. The world is seen as a place where interacting with others runs the risk of being judged and painfully rejected. This mindset usually includes deeply held expectations of failure that run on automatic pilot and can become a repeating self-fulfilling prophecy. Over time you can get stuck in this kind of self -limiting movie that you continue to replay. In doing so you lose touch with the vital social involvement that you are capable of and go through a lot of unnecessary suffering.
When we understand social anxiety in this way we can readily see that the more at ease one feels, the less likely that there will be social anxiety. One user-friendly skill that I have found helpful is the ability to be mindful rather than getting hijacked by upsetting thoughts and feelings of embarrassment, inadequacy and rejection. The good news is that we can work on becoming more mindful and at ease simply by using our attention and breath. In this context mindfulness can best be described as the ability to attend to your life experience from a calm, clear and centered place. The following exercise is one of a number that I use with my clients to help accomplish this:
An Exercise in Mindfulness Training
Being with your breath:
- Bring your attention to your breath wherever you feel it. There is no need to change the way you breathing, or do anything special with the breath. Just let it be as it is and find its own rhythm.
- Tune into the physical sensations of breathing…not thinking about the breath but being with it, allowing the breath to breathe itself. Try to be mindful of the breath all the way in and all the way out. Imagine you are riding on the waves of the breath.
Bringing back your mind:
- You will find that your mind wonders off from the breath…that’s not a problem. A mind naturally wanders. You may find yourself daydreaming or worrying,. Whenever you notice your mind has gone off, gently return your attention to your breath. You may say the word “thinking” or wandering” as you do this. You can use the word to help anchor you and bring you back to the here and now.
- If your mind wanders from the breath a hundred times, just bring it back a hundred times. See if you can bring your awareness back to the breath with kindness and gentleness. This is the practice: not keeping the mind fixed in one place, but bringing the mind back, over and over.
You may discover that feelings of anxiety begin to subside and diminish as you settle into the simple experience of being present with your breath moving in and out. Stay with the physical sensations of the breath as well as possible and return to it when your mind wonders off. After a few minutes you may notice that your mood state settles and your breathing becomes more and more natural and at ease.
Now, take some time to write down anything you noticed during your practice of mindful breathing in your journal: By journaling your thoughts to the following questions you will learn how this process can help you deal with your social anxiety.
- What brings you to work with shyness and social avoidance?
- What caught your attention the most as you did this exercise?
- Did you notice any differences between the way you felt at the beginning and at the end of the exercise?
- Looking ahead, imagine how would you feel and what would you do if you were not plagued by anxious feelings and prone to avoiding social situations?
Remember that you cannot free yourself from anxiety by reading about the benefits of mindfulness, you must practice it in order to reap the benefits. It’s like building a new muscle with exercise and helping a part of your brain by activating the self-calming system: the parasympathetic nervous system . This self calming system provides what Herbert Benson, MD calls the relaxation response (1993). It is best to practice your mindfulness meditation on a regular basis. Ten to fifteen minutes works well for many people.. If you know your triggers, then you can start being proactive and even practice your breathing meditation before you become anxious. For instance, if you know you are going to be in an anxiety provoking situation, practice your mindful breathing exercise before you go.
For a free 15 minute phone consultation to learn more about Mindful Meditation Techniques for social anxiety and stress relief, or to schedule an appointment I invite you to contact me at 314-644-3339
Learn More :
Anxiety and Panic Attacks
What is Mindfulness Therapy?
Relaxation Techniques for Stress Relief
Workshop: Breathe Your Way to Better Health